A Christmas Message

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 10-Dec-2009 11:56:32

Subject: Letter from Santa,  Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009.  

Dear Friends,   

I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas.  I was going to bring you all the gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a -milking, and the 9 piper's piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the 5th of January. Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone!  

Post 2 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 10-Dec-2009 14:32:18

rofl very, very good.

Post 3 by SunshineAndRain (I'm happily married, a mom of two and a fulltime college student.) on Thursday, 10-Dec-2009 17:18:30

ROFL, awesome!

Post 4 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 10-Dec-2009 17:39:15

lol hahaha!. that's funny

Post 5 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 10-Dec-2009 19:59:56

hahahaha.

Post 6 by CrazedMidget (Sweet fantacy's really do come in small packages!) on Friday, 11-Dec-2009 19:47:30

haha i like that one

Post 7 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Friday, 11-Dec-2009 20:24:06

printed this off and showed it to my dad. He laughed as much as I did. lol

Post 8 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 11-Dec-2009 21:40:18

lol; love it!!

Post 9 by Striker (Consider your self warned, i'm creative and offensive like handicap porn.) on Saturday, 12-Dec-2009 1:19:01

ok, this is good. lol

Post 10 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Saturday, 12-Dec-2009 9:05:38

Lol that's cute. awesome post for me to wake up to in the morning.

Post 11 by cattleya (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Saturday, 12-Dec-2009 14:30:59

Ok, I don't forward much, and I rarely copy things from the net to send out, but this one I had to send out, and I just did. :) Thanks for that. Needed the laugh.

Post 12 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Tuesday, 15-Dec-2009 22:57:59

Lol! This is very cute and funny.

Post 13 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 22-Dec-2009 22:04:04

so what happened to the 5 gold rings?

Post 14 by chass (Generic Zoner) on Wednesday, 23-Dec-2009 21:42:17

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Santa stopped at 3 hos

Post 15 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Thursday, 24-Dec-2009 6:25:31

Janelle, I was wondering the same thing when I read this. lol